Crazy
by K-9mom
Summary: Ok, so I listen to a lot of music in my truck at work and when I hear this song I think "what if", so I sat down and put this together. Hope you like it. Takes place during Chimera and is based loosely on the song "Redneck Crazy" by Tyler Farr. I gave it a rating of "M" for some minor language & adult behavior **No characters are mine (I wish!) however errors are all mine. :)


Jack had seen Carter in the elevator early this morning. They had both entered the elevator together and as soon as the doors closed Jack heard humming. He looked around to see where it was coming from and then to his 2IC with a questioning look. "Humming?" Carter stopped and looked to her CO with her arms crossed, "I am?" She was just in such a good mood she didn't notice. He was still looking at her, "You are.." Carter turned away, "Sorry" and smiles. They both look around feeling awkward so Jack breaks the ice. "So, what's his name?" She turns to him acting offended, "Now why would you…" he interrupts her. "Humming!"

Carter turns back away from Jack, arms still crossed, "Pete." Jack looks up, "Pete?" she responds quickly, "Pete Shanahan, he's a cop." Jack chews inside his lip, "Speeding again are we?" She smiles, "He's from Denver, a friend of my brothers." Jack raises his eyebrows, "Hmm a setup." "Pathetic I know" she was quick to respond again. "No it's great" he tells her. She turns back with a half smile, "really?" He shrugs his shoulders, "isn't it?"

"Well, it's not serious or anything…" she was back to looking at her CO. Jack was thinking of a reaction, "and yet, it is hum-worthy." Carter made a face, looked away, then back at him, "Sir". Jack shook his head, "Look Carter, it's none of my business. I'm just happy you're happy about something other than….." his hands were moving about "quarks" he raised his eyebrows at his own stupid response.

They both looked around trying to figure what he just said when he turned back to her making her smile, "not bad with quarks huh?" "Excellent" Now neither knew what to say until Jack took a deep breath, "a bit uncomfortable isn't it?" She turned back to him, "ya, a bit." And just then the elevator door opened for Jack to make his escape. She heard "Good luck" as he trotted out the door. "Thank you sir." She hit the door close button and took a deep breath.

Later Sam had finished at the SGC for the evening at met with Pete. They were on her front step when he told her he called his Captain and was taking two weeks of vacation to be with her and he took her into an embrace right on the front step where they were kissing when Sam pushed him away and said it was getting late.

"But it's only 7:00" he didn't understand. She smiled at the cute guy in front of her, "I have to get up REALLY early." He looked her in the eye "to go to work." She didn't know what to say. The guy was cute and more her age but he was going so fast it was making her head spin. They had talked a bit again with him not understanding because she couldn't tell him what it was she did at work and how important it was.

"Did I mention I'm a cop? I interrogate people for a living." She shook her head, "are you saying you don't believe me?" Pete started getting weird, "Is this all going too fast for you cause I can back off?" She didn't know what to say and was stuttering until he lightened up, "give you 5 or 10 minutes?" and they both laughed. He kissed her cheek, "I'll call you." She nodded that it was ok as he was staring in her eyes. "Have I left yet?" and she laughed at his humor.

Pete finally went to his truck and she went into the house after a deep breath. What she didn't know was, Jack had driven through the intersection at the end of her street and saw Pete's truck in the road in front of her house.

Jack had been thinking about Carter being with this Pete guy all day and had made some calls. He seemed to be legit, just a cop, nothing spectacular about him, no gooey gossip that would make him have to protect Carter against a mad man.

Jack had finally got home and had a beer, then a few. He couldn't get the thought out of his head. He knew he couldn't be "with" Carter, but after 6 ½ years, there was a strong bond that he didn't think they would break. Sure he had gone out with a couple girls over the years, even hooked up with Sara once or twice but nothing that he felt meant a relationship was going to be built from it. Just that he had a need that had to be taken care of and he found someone willing, usually after a few drinks. The nights with Sara were simply emotions running high and they got carried away but with Sara still alone it didn't hurt anyone. He never told Carter of any of his relationships so it never hurt her like he was feeling at this moment.

The following day Jack simply stayed away from the rest of SG-1. He hid in his office figuring no one would even think to look there if they even remembered where it was. When he wasn't there he was working with Hammond on some SGC issues that needed to be resolved. Almost as if he did the job as he was supposed to, catching up on reports, going through all the paperwork that had been sitting in his "In" Box for months. He even found some interesting things he though was good he knew about being the 2IC of Stargate Command.

Sam got home and found a rose with a note on the front step saying she would be picked up at 8:00 and to dress up. At 8:00 Pete picked her up and took her dancing. She was in total shock he would think of such a thing. She had never been taken out dancing by anyone. Pete made a comment about how great it is that people stay together no matter what and kissed Sam's neck. She immediately thought of Jack and was confused about what she wanted to do.

When Pete pulled up to her house she invited him in. He cracked some jokes about her possibly being a neat freak and they went in and quickly took each other into an embrace which quickly led to making out in her bedroom. After sex, they were talking about why he became a cop and he went on about how his ex-wife left him because she didn't understand his work hours. When Sam couldn't explain what she did for a job, Pete got upset and felt she didn't want to share herself with him.

He left her even more confused about what she should do. She loved this man but she simply couldn't let him in on her work. She knew it was going to be a problem at some point and here she was. Pete went to his truck and called his buddy at the FBI to do a background check on Sam.

Sam didn't want to be home anymore so she went back to the SGC where she met up with Teal'c and Daniel which took her mind off Pete. Daniel had been having issues with Sara who then now thought could be Osiris so they called a meeting with General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill.

When Jack sat down he was still stewing over Sam dating but sucked it up and played the professional while he was there. He had not gone home either figuring he would keep himself in check if he slept at the SGC that night.

Having Jack at the table made Sam feel a bit uncomfortable but she acted professional while she explained the situation with Osiris. Jack simply didn't understand their plan but they kept talking about it and he finally agreed.

In the morning, Pete was staking out Sam and was sitting on her street a few houses down when his FBI friend called him back and informed him Sam's record had been scrubbed. He told him she must be involved in something big and in deep cover, black ops or something and maybe he should think about backing off. When he saw Sam get in her car and drive off, he followed until she entered the security gate at Cheyenne Mountain.

After Sam got into the mountain she was setting things up to aid the team in Daniels situation. Jack had gone to Carters Lab and told her Teal'c was excited and was out picking out donuts as stake outs in the movies all have donuts. This made her chuckle and broke the tension she felt with Jack in her space.

Jack and Carter discussed what the plan was and she was feeling like Jack must have accepted the fact that she was dating and moved on. When out of the blue he asked, "So, how's Pete?" She froze and looked at him pausing for a moment, "you know how it is". Jack was looking her in the eye with almost a sad, hurt look but was trying to be professional.

Sam had been unsure if she lost Pete after he left the night before, "Usually you don't let it bother you because you know they couldn't handle the truth anyway." Jack was trying to understand what she was trying to relay to him so he just looked around paused for a moment chewing the inside of his lip. He nodded his head, "usually." She looked up at Jack directly into his eyes, "I think HE could have" and she looked away. Jack walked out of the lab feeling almost relieved thinking Pete must be gone and he went to prepare his own things to take on the stake out.

The stake out went well and both Jack and Carter felt comfortable as the tension of Pete was gone. What they didn't know was Pete was down the street watching with binoculars. When things were going down Jack & Teal'c went into the house where Jack was hit by Osiris' Zar'tac. When Carter exited the surveillance truck Pete came up behind her and Osiris shot at them.

Osiris continued towards them shooting and shielded against any attempt Carter made to stop her. Pete was behind the truck in awe of what was happening. Teal'c had gone to get Jack who was still laying in Daniels hallway but Jack sent Teal'c to help Daniel & Carter as he was not ready to get up.

Pete was shooting at Osiris with his concealed handgun and not understanding why nothing was taking the woman down when all of the sudden he saw her eyes glow, "Now that is NOT normal!" Carter yelled for him to look out and they both ran away from the truck as Osiris shot at it making it explode.

Osiris had not notice Jack and Teal'c coming up behind her and it gave Jack the time he needed to place a tranquilizer dart directly into her making her drop within a minute and Jack went over to check the woman.

Carter and Pete were still on the ground and decided to get up, "You ok?" Carter was worried about Pete being injured. He responded that he was ok when he fell backwards back onto the ground. Carter looked at him when she noticed he had been shot in the gut. She placed her hand on his wound, "Oh god, Pete, you've been hit." Jack looked over towards them, "Carter?"

She responded, "It's Pete, he needs an ambulance." Jack shook his head and stood up to run for the phone while Carter kept Pete calm and still holding his wound. Pete was trying to figure out what had just happened and Carter told him if he lived through it she would explain everything. Pete just smiled and told her it was a deal.

Daniel had been in the infirmary with Sara/Osiris and believed it was Sara and that Osiris was gone. He took her into an embrace and they just held each other. Daniel thought they were successful.

Carter went to visit Pete who was in a hospital bed at the SGC still not believing there could be a hospital under Cheyenne Mountain. She handed him a wrapped gift which he opened and found it was a photo of he and Carter the night they were out dancing. He smiled, it was a wonderful night together. Then he remembered, "I believe I lived up to my end of the bargain." Sam took a deep breath and began explaining that the information she was about to give him was classified. He thought she was kidding and started to poke fun at her when he realized what she was saying was true.

Jack had walked by the infirmary room when Carter was bent over Pete kissing him. That night he went home and again stewed on the subject. He thought it was over and now he seems to be back in the picture. He was happy for her but insanely jealous, unfortunately with Daniel down for recovery of just everything, Jack had nowhere to be for 2 days so he stopped at the store on his way home where he sat thinking he had lost Carter after all these years.

By the 2nd day he was completely drunk and had binged the entire time he was off work, Daniel had called him but he didn't answer. In the message Daniel had informed him Carter took Pete home earlier that morning. "Jack call us, any one of us. If I don't hear back soon I will stop by to be sure you are ok. We ah, we're getting a little worried about you…. So call huh?"

Jack wasn't happy about someone possibly stopping over so he decided he needed to get out of the house before they all showed up. He loaded the cooler and drove to a nearby state forest and picked an isolated table. He had done it on so many occasions when trying to hide from others, it was peaceful. The darkness began setting in and he was getting more angry about Carter, his Carter, now being home health aid to her new man who he was sure she was fucking, after all he had her humming, he thought. The man laying in the bed where he thought he should be instead.

Jack got up and back into his truck and drove like hell through her neighborhood, parked his truck on her front lawn with his headlights shining in her bedroom window, cranked up the radio, sat on the hood and drank another beer. He was completely pissed off at this point so he didn't care what any of them thought. He saw their shadows on the wall from the lights and he began throwing beer cans at them. He didn't go there to start a fight, but he was up for anything at this point.

He thought to himself; _You know you broke the wrong heart baby!_ _I wish I knew how long it's been going on…. how long you've been getting some on the side. _He had spent years watching her sleep, watching her cry, holding her when she needed someone, hoping someday they would be together. He didn't think it was fair that she moved on without him.

Then his mind started running again, _Well, he can't amount to much by the look of that little truck! _The thought made him smile, _probably has a little dick too! _He chuckled to himself at the thought, _Well at least he won't be getting any sleep tonight!_

Jack threw another beer can at the window as Carter and Pete were now down at the door. Pete was behind the door, he didn't know Jack enough so he was worried. Carter was a bit worried as well, she had never seen her CO this drunk and why was he doing this, simply because he was jealous of Pete?

Carter stepped out off the porch and told Pete to stay in the house figuring Jack would beat the crap out of the man. Pete may be a cop with some self-defense training but nothing like the training Jack had and besides Pete was injured and Jack was feeling no pain with the amount of alcohol he seemed to have in his system.

Carter was calm, standing about 10 feet from the truck and he was just watching her. Oh how he loved her. "Sir? What is all this, what's going on?" She was having a hard time seeing him because of the headlights. It was a very poor move on her part getting so close because she was virtually blinded if he made an aggressive move but she trusted him that he wouldn't hurt her. Besides, he probably wouldn't feel it but she thought she could take him if needed.

She slowly walked to the driver door of his truck and cut off the headlights, leaving just the parking & amber fog lights to illuminate him on the hood. She was startled when he started talking. He was stern but not overly loud. "Did you think I'd just wish you both the best, endless love and happiness? You know that's just not the kind of man I am…." When all of the sudden he got loud and jumped off his truck. Pete had his weapon in hand and was still behind the door. He figured whether she liked it or not, he'd shoot the bastard if he tried to hurt Carter.

Jack started yelling, "No! I'm the kind that shows up at your house at 3am! Shining my headlights into your bedroom windows! Throwing empty beer cans at both of your shadows! You've gone and broke the wrong heart baby, and drove me crazy!

Jack finally collapsed on the ground. She didn't know if he was conscious or not but it was Jack so she ran over to him figuring she'd be ready if it was a set up. Pete stepped out onto the porch trying to see what was happening as they were now down in the shadows of the ground.

Carter ran over and grabbed his shoulder and felt for a pulse on his neck. "Sir? Sir can you hear me?" He could but it was like he was in a tunnel. He couldn't get his voice to do much, "Carter?" She didn't hear him so he reached for her arm. "Carter?" She leaned into him to hear. "Carter, I love you, I just want to be with you!" She knew that but also knew he was drunk, "I know sir. Let's get you home. Let me call Daniel." Jack didn't like that idea, he wanted Carter. Jack turned over and began vomiting all over the lawn, time after time, after time. She was trying to help him stay clean, "Sir, I think we should get you to the SGC or the hospital. You feel dehydrated, have you been drinking beer all weekend?" He didn't answer, "Sir, have you been drinking any water or anything other than beer the last couple days?" He heard her from the tunnel he was in but collapsed and went limp.

"Pete! Call Janet, tell her I am on my way with Colonel O'Neill and to meet us at the SGC. Her cell phone number is on the refrigerator." Pete turned to do as he was told while Carter opened the passenger side door to his truck and fireman dragged her CO to the door. She knew she couldn't lift the man herself and when she saw one of her neighbors outside_, they had all been watching the show_, she figured, she asked for help and he was quick to help. She was lucky she had an understanding community as many were either military, particularly Air Force, veterans or knew someone who was so they were supportive of her being a soldier.

Once they got Jack loaded up, Carter jumped into the driver's side and started the truck. She hadn't even seen Pete running back out, he thought he was going with her but she sped away towards Cheyenne Mountain with her seemingly Alcohol Poisoned CO.

Carter arrived at the SGC about 5 minutes faster than she should've that was for certain. The guards let her pull as close as possible to the entrance and she had one of the Airmen help her get the Colonel out of the truck. She had the second Airman park the truck in the parking area and said she'd get the keys later. They passed through the security gate and had the Airman leave once they got into the elevator. He really shouldn't have left his post but it was an emergency she figured she;d deal with that later if it comes up.

She got on her cell phone and found Dr Janet Frasier was already at the SGC, actually she never left. Janet had two nurses meet Carter at the elevator as soon as the doors opened. Carter and the male Sgt lifted the Colonel onto the gurney and they raced to the infirmary.

Everyone was wondering what had happened as they watched Major Carter come racing in with the Colonel. They got to the infirmary and they moved Jack onto a bed and removed his shirt. The nurses began attaching I.V. fluids while the other was attaching sensors for heart and pulse monitors. Janet was testing pupil stimulation and trying to get him to respond. "Colonel! Colonel O'Neill, can you hear me?"

He heard her, he just couldn't make his limbs or lips to move. "Janet shot a glare at her friend, "Sam what happened?" Sam looked around the room at all the other staff members and simply made eye contact with her friend. Janet was barking out orders for bloodwork, ekg, etc, etc and she tipped her head for Sam to follow her into her office.

Sam almost broke down but held herself together while she started explaining everything from the beginning when he showed up on her lawn. It was obvious he had done some drinking as Janet could smell it all over the man. At least this gave Janet some ideas of what to do and what to look for and went to work but not before stopping for her friend. "You ok sweetie? Let me get one of the guys down here to be with you." Sam just shook her head, "no, I'll be ok. I'll just go up in the observation room so I'm out of the way." Janet patted her friend on the shoulder, "Ok, hey, there should still be a cot up there. You should try to get some rest. The Colonel won't be in any mood to talk to anyone for a while even once he wakes up."

Janet left and went back to the Colonel while Sam stood for a minute and watched his unconscious, limp body lay still attached to all the wires and tubes. She broke down crying but was able to escape through the back stairs into the observation room. _What have I done to him? Is it worth it? What if he doesn't make it? How would I live with myself?_ She couldn't stop thinking.

A few minutes later Daniel & Teal'c came rushing into the observation room and found Carter crying. They wanted to know everything but she was in no mood to go over it all again. She simply told them he had been drinking and collapsed. Daniel wanted to prod for more like why they were together, where was Pete and just as he was about to ask, General Hammond entered the room.

"What happened Major?" Carter still didn't want to get into it but didn't have a choice this time. As Carter was explaining how he showed up Daniel had a thought. "You mean he drove there drunk?" A strike of fear washed over her, _OMG! First of all, he did and luckily he didn't hurt anyone but Daniel, you asshole, you just planted that in the General's mind! _She became irate with Daniel and his stupid questions all the time. "General, can I speak to you in private?" He nodded his head. "Dr Jackson, Teal'c, can you give Major Carter and I a moment alone please? Daniel didn't know what just happened but he and Teal'c got up and started to exit the room, "And shut the door on your out please." The General told Teal'c being the last person out.

Hammond had Carter sit and he sat in a chair next to her. The tears were flowing as fast as ever so Hammond took his time. Carter had always been like a niece to him since her father General Jacob Carter served with him many years ago. "Sam… slow, just start at the beginning. Take your time, it's just us here, no eyes, no ears, just us." He sat forward in his chair and placed his hand on her knee. She knew she could tell him anything but she had also seen the man upset and oh boy she didn't want that and she didn't want the Colonel to get into trouble for loving her.

Carter started at the beginning with Jack showing up on her lawn, the situation, some of what was said, and skipped forward to his passing out and getting him to the SGC. Now Hammond had commanded a lot of soldiers and he was a father, he knew when there were pieces of a puzzle missing. "Sam, what are you leaving out? Why would he do this?"

Carters head fell to her lap her hands holding her crying eyes. "Sam? Do you and Jack have a physical relationship outside the SGC?" He didn't really want to know the answer as it surely seemed like it. Sam looked up, "No sir! Never!" She looked him directly in the eye and he paused a moment but believed her. He knew they had a special bond, any fool could see it if you spent five minutes with them but it was a close team and it needed to be like that. Hammond hadn't thought much of it except to out the lid on anyone trying to make trouble. "Do the two of you have a personal relationship besides just team mates?" She looked up at him again not knowing how to answer that. "Sir? I don't want to lie, I mean Colonel O'Neill is a very close friend, just as Daniel, Teal'c Janet…." He was waving his hands, "I get it Major." He knew there was more but if she says it is not physical, then so be it, after all she IS dating another man so… he just kept thinking to himself it must be true.

"Ok then, do you want me to write up charges? I would say there is a bunch, Criminal Mischief, Trespassing, Drinking in Public, Disorderly Conduct, Threatening, and let's not forget Drunk Driving since you witnessed him driving and obviously intoxicated." Sam was shaking her head, "No, no sir, no charges. No way! It's just a bad night, let's just hope he wakes up ok."

Hammond looked her up and down for a moment and nodded his head, "you're sure?" She nodded. He made eye contact with her again, "Sam, has he done this before? I mean, even on a much lighter level showing up at your door drunk or when not wanted?" She was shaking her head the whole time he was talking, "No, never. I've seen him drink ya, drink more than he should at a party, sure, but no more than Daniel or any of the others. This is all so… something happened this time." She figured she'd spit it out as he was probably already thinking it anyway. "Sir, all I can think of it that he got insanely jealous that I am dating Pete and he went off."

Hammond didn't understand, "But Major, you just said you didn't have a physical relationship with him.." She knew he would never understand, "no sir, we don't but you must know after that Tok'ra Za'tarc Detector situation, that the Colonel and I were forced to express our true feelings for each other in order to be found clean. General, sir, believe me, the Colonel and I have never had a physical relationship and he has never done ANYTHING that I felt harassed or that he was inappropriate. I mean sure, we're close friends, we joke around, he comfort's me with a hug if I need it, but he does the same for Daniel, his heart melts for that kind of stuff."

The General smiled knowing she was telling the truth, "Ya, our big tough guy is really just a squishy teddy bear inside huh?" They both let out a big smile at the thought and Hammond knew Jack would do ANYTHING to help someone he felt was family and with all the missions he'd been on during his time with the SGC and many before, he's saved many fellow soldiers and citizens who may never know he was there.

Hammond got up to leave the room when Janet met him at the door. "Sir, the Colonel's Blood Alcohol Level just came in from the lab. Sir, his level is 0.35! It's gonna be a LONG ride and hopefully he won't have any internal organ damage. I will continue to monitor Kidney & Liver Levels and I doubt he will wake up anytime soon, maybe by morning. But sir, with this type of coma, it could take days or longer."

Janet looked over at Carter. "Sam, honey you need to get some sleep. He won't be awake until at least morning so please. You want to be awake when he is right?" Carter knew the concern so Hammond left and Carter laid on the cot while Janet pulled a blanket over her. "He's gonna be ok, we're going to do whatever he needs, even if we transfer him to Academy hospital. We'll see how he's doing tomorrow.

Just then the phone rang so she answered it. It was Pete, the call had been transferred down to her. "How's he doing? Do you need a ride home? I can come get you?" _Shit Pete! _Carter had forgotten about the poor guy being left at her house. _Now what do you do Carter?_ She was thinking to herself. She closed her eyes and made w wincing face, "Pete. I am going to stay here for the night. Colonel O'Neill is is horrible shape, I need to be here." Pete didn't quite understand, "he'll be fine, in the care of that Doctor you like. Besides, I called down to the Office, the Desk Sgt wants you to stop in and give him a statement so we can pursue charges against this idiot."

Carter was so upset you could almost see the steam blowing out her ears, "YOU WHAT!?" Pete was finally silent, "You called to press charges on Jack?" Pete was so confused, "Ya, the asshole dug up your lawn, made a scene in front of the neighbors, was threatening both of us, never mind the trespassing and drunk driving. Did they so a Blood Alcohol Level?"

Carter didn't answer him for a moment, "You know what Pete, I am not pressing charges against a friend and I am going to stay here until he is awake and doing better. I just think you should go home and I'll call you in a few days." Pete was silent then, "What are you in love with this asshole?" And again silence on both ends. "No Pete, but we are close here, we are a family, and I need to be sure he's ok." "Ya ok Sam, talk to you later." He didn't believe her, hell, she didn't believe herself for crying out loud. They both hung up and Carter went back to the cot and finally did fall asleep.

In the morning, Carter looked through the observation glass hoping to see the Colonel awake but no such luck. She walked down to the infirmary to talk to Janet who was dragging. She didn't go home, not with the Colonel in the shape he was in. She tried to get some cat naps in her office but she couldn't sleep. Her mind kept running about what else she could do.

Janet filled in her friend on their friend's condition. His heart rhythm was returning to normal, it had been all crazy during the night. The I.V. Fluids were still hydrating him, his Liver and Kidney function levels were still off but Janet was still hopeful it was just acute damage and not long term, his pulse was returning to normal and they catheterized him due to all the fluids and his unconscious state. Sam smiled, "Oh, he's gonna LOVE that when he wakes up!" Janet gave a half smile, "knowing him, he will!" The two women giggled briefly before returning back to serious.

Carter went and sat on the stool next to him, the one that was usually occupied by the Colonel while a team mate was injured or sick. He rarely left any of their sides until they were awake and the Doctor told him they were in the clear and she was going to do the same for him, even if it was self induced.

About an hour later Jack started to move his head and groan. Carter jumped up and took Jack's hand, "Sir? Sir, I'm here, can you open your eyes?" One of the nurses had run to get Janet who jogged to the Colonels bedside.

His head felt like a Mac Truck ran it over, his eyes were burning from the little bit of light they were now letting in, and the sounds of the beeping and people talking were annoying him. The only word he got out audibly was "Carter". He was holding her hand as tight as he could not wanting to let her go so she allowed it. Daniel & Teal'c came running in when they heard he was awake. They both said his to their team mate and a few minutes later returned to what they were doing. General Hammond had come in to see him and was very happy his 2IC was awake. Things were getting crazy and he had some missions to send SG-1 on so he figured he would send Daniel and Teal'c with Sg-11 and it would get them out of Jack & Carters hair.

By that evening Jack was wide awake, still stiff and head throbbing. He couldn't remember a thing about what happened or why and no one would tell him. Carter told him she would fill him in when he was fully recovered and back home. "Carter? Can you do me a favor and have Doc Frasier come over here for a minute?" Carter looked worried, "Why, what's the matter? Can I help?" He smiled, "just please get her."

Carter and Janet went to his bedside and then he looked at Carter, "can you give Doc and I a moment please?" Carter looked put out, he had never asked for privacy like that before but she moved out of earshot. She started giggling when she found out what he wanted the doctor for.

"Doc, you gotta get this thing outta me!" Janet was trying to hide the smile. "Sir, I would prefer it stay in until your kidney functions return to normal . We need to keep track of your output." He gave her a cold stare trying to read her. "I'll take it out myself then!" She shook her head at his stubbornness and knew he would. She figured he was awake enough to fight her, he was awake enough to pee in the jar himself.

Janet pulled the curtain for a moment and pulled the blanket down exposing his manhood before grabbing pair of gloves and putting them on. Jack looked down at it and fell his head back into the pillow. He didn't want to watch this he figured. "Would you hurry up? It's cold in here and Junior there is feeling the effects of shrinkage!" Janet smiled at him trying to stay professional while Carter was outside the curtain trying to hold it together. She knew he wasn't going to like the idea of a catheter.

Janet felt bold that moment, "Sir, you can blame it on shrinkage if you want, but we both know the truth don't we?" He froze and stared at her, "what do you mean?" She gave him a serious look, "Sir, with all the alcohol you consumed, I may need to send you to a specialist. It's really there job to prescribe you know…." He became very serious, eyes almost burning through the woman. "what? Prescribe what? What are you talking about?"

She was really playing with him, he deserved it after the scare he gave them. "Sir, usually after an incident like this a man becomes impotent. Like I said, I would have to send you to a specialist for a prescription to try Viagra or Cialis, one of those." Jack was squinting at the little woman, studying to see if she was joking. "Oh, and the shrinkage. Sometimes it is permanent and sometimes it will fix itself with time."

Janet finished pulling out the catheter, cleaned the area, and pulled the blanket back over the man before pulling the curtain away. Carter busted out laughing, she couldn't hold it in anymore. Jack put his hands down there feeling himself as if taking inventory. Everything felt normal, just a tad sore he thought. By now he knew she was kidding but he was blushing a bit, "Hey, I can afford to lose an inch or so to shrinkage and still be fine!"

Carter turned bright red and was catching her breath from laughing so hard, "Oh my, don't we feel mighty full of ourself now!" Janet walked by her fried and out the corner of her mouth whispered, "he is not so far off!" Carter's eyes popped, "really?" Janet shot her friend a glare meaning she was serious. Jack saw them, "Hey! What are you two mumbling about?" Sam got a tad jealous that her friend knew that about Jack. But then again, Janet knew every square inch of each of their bodies since she had explored them so often. Sam had just never really thought about it before.

General Hammond walked in seeing that his 2IC was awake and was seemingly better though he was still complaining of a headache. "It's a know wonder Colonel, you were in bad shape yesterday." Jack still didn't know exactly what happened.

Hammond looked around and saw that there were people walking around with no real emergency. "Clear the room people. I just want Major Carter and the Colonel." Everyone looked around knowing that generally meant someone was in trouble so they got out quick. Janet looked over, "Doctor, you can stay if you need to." She shot Jack then Carter a look before talking, "if you want me to sir, otherwise I have some paperwork to do in my office." Hammond just nodded his head in agreement.

Jack was a little intimidated this time. Not knowing what the hell you did when called onto the carpet was not a good feeling. Hammond pointed for Carter to sit before he also pulled up a chair. "Ok, I just got a call from the Sheriff down in the Springs. He said the incident was reported to his office by one of the local officers who witnessed the entire mess."

Carter's heart sunk and was about to talk until Hammond caught her. "Let me finish. When I told him who was involved he said he knew you well Colonel and that it must be a big misunderstanding and would let us take the case because you are both Air Force Officers. And because you, Major never filed a complaint and it was your residence." Sam nodded her head in understanding.

The General stood up, "How I am going to handle this is; Major, you need to come up to my office and give me a written statement on the entire incident from the beginning to the end and we will discuss whether you want to press charges. Colonel, as of this moment consider yourself under Suspension without pay until further notice." Both Officers nodded in agreement but Jack was still stumped.

"Sir, can Carter stay for a moment and explain to ME what I did?" Hammond turned back at the man in bed, "She can explain after, right now she is coming with me and I'm going to tell you something." He pointed his finger at the man and had a very stern look. "You had better get your drinking in check son cause I may not be able to bail you out next time…. And there better never be a next time!"

Hammond walked out the door Carter a step behind when she looked back with her sad eyes as if to apologize. Janet saw them leave so she came out to talk with Jack. "You ok?" She was always concerned about health first whether physical or mental. He was very somber, "Ya, it's not the first time I've been suspended and probably won't be the last." She smiled knowing he was telling the truth. Janet had known the Colonel since he came to Peterson AFB because they all used the Academy Hospital at the time and when the Stargate Program first started she moved her office the Mountain so she got to know them all quite intimately. She had watched him go through the loss of his son Charlie, then the divorce from Sara, then the depression ultimately making him retire early.

Jack was looking down, then looked up at the Doctor, "I really screwed up good this time huh?" Janet gave him a gentle smile and tipped her head, "Ya, you certainly did but I think Sam will forgive you. Just know once the worry about you is over, there may be a phase of hurt and misunderstanding. But don't worry too much, it will all work out." She patted his leg and moved onto do something else.

Carter had her meeting with the General and gave him the statement he requested but still refused to press any charges. She thought the suspension was enough. Just before he excused her, he got a very serious face and stood up to walk around his desk, resting on it in front of her. "Major… Sam, are you sure you don't want me to at least reassign one of you to another team. I mean, I do think he crossed the line here and from what you tell me, you do both have strong feelings for each other." Carter almost cried at the thought of working on another team, "No sir! No, we have no issue here and certainly nothing that interferes with our professionally working together." Hammond smiled and stood up, "so be it then. But let me know if you change your mind." He pointed to the door to excuse her and she got out as quickly as possible.

Carter quickly went back downstairs to see Jack. She sat down and told him everything the way it happened. He apologized for his stupidity and told her it was a bad weekend all around. He told her that he was truly happy that she found someone that could take care of her like she was supposed to be treated and reminded her that if she ever needed something, he would be around. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze looking him in the eye. "Thank you sir, I know you would be there." The smile melted his heart but he knew it was time to let her go.

"I better go find Pete and let him know there will be no charges. I kinda left him high and dry yesterday." Jack gave her a fake smile and didn't know what to say. "I'll check in on you tomorrow sir, get better soon." He smiled and nodded his head as he watched her walk out the door.

By the tests in the morning his blood work was back to normal and Janet released him to return home but had to take 2 weeks off (which he was getting whether he liked it or not) and he was to touch no alcohol. He would have to return in 4 days for a retest of blood and physical. He agreed with the terms and off he went back home for the most boring 2 weeks of his life, now friends around, no booze, and no pay.

The End


End file.
